Bloomingdale Divorce Counseling

To some, the end of a marriage can feel like a relief, yet it remains one of the most stressful events in a person’s life. When a relationship ends, even if by choice, there is still a loss to be acknowledged. Denying the grieving that comes with the end of a marriage can be more harmful than helpful. Seeking guidance from someone who is not entangled in the dynamics of the relationship can be extremely beneficial in gaining a balanced perspective on how to move forward most effectively.

Seeking Support

Divorce not only affects the individuals in the relationship but also impacts those around them, including children, friends, and family members. While seeking support from our loved ones can be helpful, it is not encouraged to divulge all of the details of your pain. Doing so can negatively impact the type of support you receive from that person, as well as complicate the interactions that person may have with your ex-spouse. Also, everyone grieves in their own way. When we hurt, our loved ones hurt. Focus on telling them how they can best support you, and seek the support of someone removed from the situation to process the emotional aftermath of divorce.

Emotions of Divorce

The emotions that can arise during divorce can vary for each individual, depending on the circumstances that led up to the divorce. While these emotions can differ, some common responses to divorce are:

• Anxiety: Concerns about finances, lifestyle changes, housing, and legal matters.
• Sadness: Feelings of loss related to lifestyle, family members, friends, or unresolved conflicts.
• Stress: Ongoing legal issues, adjusting to a new lifestyle, and the emotional toll of re-telling the divorce story.
• Guilt: Worry about the impact on others involved in the divorce and dwelling on the “shoulds” of the relationship.
• Grief: Mourning the loss of the relationship and the person we deeply invested in.

Children and Divorce

Children are often impacted by divorce and may struggle to communicate how they are doing. It’s best to monitor your child’s response so that you can have a better understanding of how they are coping.

Some signs that your child is having trouble with your divorce are:

• Acting out in school or at home
• Shutting down or withdrawing
• Changes in usual behavior
• Increased rule-breaking or obedience
• Angry or irritable mood
• Signs of self-harm
• Displaying much more or much less emotion than usual

If your child is experiencing difficulty with your divorce, the support of a counselor can be beneficial for individual support or through family therapy.